An epic little bath time.

Facts that are crucial to the following story:

1. Ethan loves baths and can't wait to get in once he hears the water running.
2. Ethan hates to have his diaper changed. He's like wrestling a greased pig.
3. Emmie is okay with baths, but it's not love...especially when water splashes in her face.
4. It was a single parent kind of night.

And the story:

It's not normally a bath night, but someone decided to color all over herself with a pink marker at school. So, Monday night, bath time. The water is running. It's game on for Ethan. And then I realize he has a poopy diaper.

Emmie has already gotten herself naked and is hopping in the tub, so I grab the nearest wipes container.  I have two dry wipes to get this job done.  Perfect. Ethan is hysterically crying because the running water is calling him like the Little Mermaid (or something a little more manly).

He's rolling over...and over...and over. I'm holding on to one leg, wiping with a dry wipe and I may or may not be using a foot to keep him in place on the bathroom floor.

At this exact moment, Emmie grabs the soap puffy that is hanging off of that little knob on the bathtub faucet. As she pulls on the puffy, she turns on the shower. My kid that doesn't like getting her face wet, is now getting the first shower of her life. Yeah. That just happened.

I watched in slow motion. Her eyes were saucers. There was confusion. Then shock. A little panic. Some screaming. She stood up and was hysterical.

(I'm still mid poop fest with Ethan on the floor.) 

I think I blacked out for a bit but from what I remember, Emmie jumped out of the bathtub and was shaking and crying and so freaked out. I give up on Ethan and figure, you know, shit happens.  I get the shower turned off.

I figured my best option was to put Ethan in the tub to take care of his situation, but Holmes is too smart for that. He just watched what happened to his sister and now he's screaming and doing a combination limp leg and arched body so I can't set him down.

I've now got two naked kids, one of whom I'm trying to rationalize with that the scary shower isn't going to turn on and get her again and the other is a tiny monkey climbing up my shoulder. Seriously, he was holding on so tight with his arms and legs that I probably could have let go.

After a few deep breaths for everyone, I finally convince Emmie to get back in the tub. I toss Ethan in right after. Things return to normal.

Well, that was fun.

Thankfully the vortex is keeping my beer nice and cold in the garage.