An epic little bath time.

Facts that are crucial to the following story:

1. Ethan loves baths and can't wait to get in once he hears the water running.
2. Ethan hates to have his diaper changed. He's like wrestling a greased pig.
3. Emmie is okay with baths, but it's not love...especially when water splashes in her face.
4. It was a single parent kind of night.

And the story:

It's not normally a bath night, but someone decided to color all over herself with a pink marker at school. So, Monday night, bath time. The water is running. It's game on for Ethan. And then I realize he has a poopy diaper.

Emmie has already gotten herself naked and is hopping in the tub, so I grab the nearest wipes container.  I have two dry wipes to get this job done.  Perfect. Ethan is hysterically crying because the running water is calling him like the Little Mermaid (or something a little more manly).

He's rolling over...and over...and over. I'm holding on to one leg, wiping with a dry wipe and I may or may not be using a foot to keep him in place on the bathroom floor.

At this exact moment, Emmie grabs the soap puffy that is hanging off of that little knob on the bathtub faucet. As she pulls on the puffy, she turns on the shower. My kid that doesn't like getting her face wet, is now getting the first shower of her life. Yeah. That just happened.

I watched in slow motion. Her eyes were saucers. There was confusion. Then shock. A little panic. Some screaming. She stood up and was hysterical.

(I'm still mid poop fest with Ethan on the floor.) 

I think I blacked out for a bit but from what I remember, Emmie jumped out of the bathtub and was shaking and crying and so freaked out. I give up on Ethan and figure, you know, shit happens.  I get the shower turned off.

I figured my best option was to put Ethan in the tub to take care of his situation, but Holmes is too smart for that. He just watched what happened to his sister and now he's screaming and doing a combination limp leg and arched body so I can't set him down.

I've now got two naked kids, one of whom I'm trying to rationalize with that the scary shower isn't going to turn on and get her again and the other is a tiny monkey climbing up my shoulder. Seriously, he was holding on so tight with his arms and legs that I probably could have let go.

After a few deep breaths for everyone, I finally convince Emmie to get back in the tub. I toss Ethan in right after. Things return to normal.

Well, that was fun.

Thankfully the vortex is keeping my beer nice and cold in the garage.

Her first movie!

I took Emmie to her very first movie on Sunday! I told my girl we were going to have a special day, just mommy and Emmie. We drove to the theatre, we talked about the movie theatre and how we would get popcorn and we would sit right by each other and watch this fun movie called Frozen.

 

Upon recommendation, we were just late enough to skip all of the movie previews. We got to theatre, waited for our popcorn and headed to the theatre. We sat down…the movie started.

 

And a mere twenty minutes later, a hysterically crying kid and I hurried out of the theatre.

 

She was PE.TRI.FIED.

 

All I heard was that the movie was so cute, so adorable…well in classic Disney fashion, there are some scary moments too. And moments that aren’t so much scary to anyone else were EPIC to my wee one.  The men singing at the beginning…scary. The tumultuous sea, super scary. And then, the part where icicles flew off the girl’s hands along with a loud crashing noise…HYSTERICAL. As much as I assured Em it would get fun and nice and happy, she wasn’t having it.

 

So, we left.

 

Oh, I felt so bad. She was shaking. Tears were streaming down her face. She was silent. My heart broke a little. I promised her this special day with mom and it left her scared and sobbing. Nice mom.

 

Maybe we’ll be able to rent the movie one day…and watch it in the light and fast forward through any scary parts.

 

 

Christmas 3 of 3

We woke up on Christmas morning and it only took Emmie a few minutes to realize there were presents under her little pink tree. And she ran as fast as she could to see if there were presents under the other tree also.

Again, it was so fun to see her light up as she opened gifts, even the outfit and pajama ones. Oh and Ethan was super stoked about the sweatpants he got too. Poor babies, practical stuff until they know the difference.



I don't see why you would wear pants on Christmas morning.

Can you believe his skinny little legs? Just like his dad.

 Ethan's favorite "toy" was the crate that one of Emmie's gifts came in.

And this is why he got sweatpants for Christmas.

And in classic family tradition, we headed out to Hawley one more time to wrap up the Christmas festivities. This family likes a tradition. Christmas Eve is at my aunt Nancy's, there is Bunco, there are gifts, there are most definitely pickle wraps and if there isn't the meaty-pepper-cheesy thing in a wonton shell, well then it's certainly not Christmas. 

Christmas Day is at Carmen's and shockingly there is more food. But there is also a school gymnasium where the children and men and non-nappers go to run around. We dressed very specifically with this in mind, making sure Emmie wore a tank top under her sweater so she didn't end up topless like last year.  I stayed back with Ethan, you know, so that he could nap...not because I didn't want to run laps around the gym, because that sounds like something I would totally want to do after just inhaling half my body weight in ham and cheesy potatoes. Ethan passed out on grandma and I made the rest of us drinks. It worked out nicely.

 

Merry Christmas
2013



  

 2012 

Same jammies for Em, but they've both changed just a bit.



 

(And sometimes when you blog...you have a sneaking suspicion you've said the same thing before...I have. Guys, I really mean it about the pickle wraps and wonton things....)

 

 



The things she says

Sneaking out of her room, delaying bedtime one last time, I see her out of the corner of my eye. At this point I'm trying not to talk to her and just ignore her:

E: Mom...
E: Mom...
E: Mom...I have something for you.
(still ignoring her but now really curious as to what she has...flashbacks of the toast in butt, you know?)
E: Do you like spicy things?
E: Here, here are some spicy things for you.
(she runs over, pours imaginary spicy things in my hand and runs back to bed.)
(wtf?)

Seeing Andy is his spandex under armour before getting ready to snow blow:

E: Dad, are you wearing mom's pants?
A: No, these are my pants.
E: No, actually those are mom's pants. You need to get your own pants. You need to wear jeans.

When I threw my back out, Andy and Emmie went to the grocery store. She always buys me a treat (licorice). Andy suggested they buy me flowers, she said no.

Me: What? You didn't want to buy me flowers?
E: Well. Mom. Actually do you eat the flowers?

As I'm getting ready in the bathroom:

E: Mom, I spilled! But it's okay, I put a pillow over it.
Me: What did you spill?
E: Gatorade.
Me: Where?
E: Your bed.

And she's kind of a pathological liar. Always saying that daddy said this, mommy said that. Or when she comes prancing into the room with gobs and gobs of white powder in her hair and I ask if she used my hair product: "No." She also said she didn't use my mascara:

Christmas 2 of 3

While I should be talking about the New Year and describing 2013 in a long drawn out ooh fest, here I am still working on the Christmas post. Let's just say I'm ready for life, namely work to slow down a bit.

On Christmas Eve, it was off to Hawley. Not before I put in a few hours of work though. Yeah, that's right...working on Christmas Eve, call me Scrooge. If you ask Emmie why mom was working, her well rehearsed response was: "because mommy has a good work ethic."

 

 

Color us impressed when we tried to take a picture of the girls and they instead showed us their "booty butts."

 

So many treats...so much excitement.

Just to prove I was at Christmas...because we didn't even get a family picture taken.

So excited about presents.

  

 

Bunco...cousin Lexi was Ethan's partner.

 

With his regular bedtime long since passed, Eth is sporting jammies and a couple dark circles with his paci being the only thing to keep him happy. He was out by the time we hit the drive way...