Warning. This post is all about breastfeeding...I know. It's ridiculous. But this is my new life, so deal. I also just need to say it/type it and get it off my chest - no pun intended. So anyone that is breastfeeding, has breastfed, has thought about it and politely declined, or may breastfeed in the future: read on.
The choice to breastfeed is a big one. I do use the word "choice" rather than decision because it really is your choice. Now we all know that breast milk is best, blah blah, but it's a serious commitment!
I had no "plans" for breastfeeding. I didn't want to put any pressure on myself for reaching any goals. What if my milk didn't come in? What if she didn't eat well? What if it just sucked so bad I wanted to quit? Well, none of those things happened much to my surprise! My milk came in, she ate well and it didn't suck.
Now nearing the end of my maternity leave, I'm boobie-bipolar.
I've been going back and forth for days, no probably weeks, on whether or not to move to formula. Once I started pumping instead of just breastfeeding, everything seemed to go downhill. So we made the decision to quit pumping and head to formulaville. It will be so much easier once I go back to work and I won't have to stress about pumping round the clock. I made Andy buy me cabbage leaves and Sudafed to slow the flow.
Fast forward to this evening when I'm sporting two rock hard softballs covered in cabbage leaves and can barely hold Emmie because they hurt so bad.
Why am I doing this I think to myself?! I'm literally going against all rules of nature. Not to get all granola on this topic, but I was made to feed my child and now I'm doing everything to stop it? And the guilt. Ugh the guilt. No longer providing my baby's super food out of convenience for myself? What's my problem?
And then the pumping began.
And the smiling returned.
And the guilt left.
And for a little while I'm content with my decision to continue. I mean seriously though, I can't guarantee there won't be an I'm done post tomorrow.
(If you have any advice on the topic I'd love to hear it.)
I'm probably no help at all, but have you thought about nursing her in the evenings/nights/weekends and then just pumping at work? I know pumping is a ton of work to do full time! I don't think breastfeeding or pumping or formula has to be all or nothing. I will be pumping just while at work, and nursing any other time because like you guys, breastfeeding is going so well for us. Good luck with whatever you decide, its all about happy baby and mama!
ReplyDeleteUnless you breastfeed into college, you WILL feel guilty when you stop. And while I totally believe in the benefits of breastfeeding (I believe in them a lot), it is a ton of work, time consuming, and can get to be kind of a drag after awhile (just being honest). Especially when you have to haul your pump around downtown Chicago and pump in a bathroom at Wrigley Field before a DMB concert. So go for as long as you BOTH enjoy it, then move to formula and realize that she will turn out great no matter what. There are a gazillion wonderful things you will do for your child, and breastfeeding is one of them but NOT the only one.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, I comment on every one of your posts. Look at all the free time I have since I'm not breastfeeding (ok, my kid has 6 teeth, I think that's a good decision on my part).
ReplyDeleteI didn't breastfeed my kids, so I'll refrain from offering advice on that part. I like what Anne said about all the wonderful things you'll do for your baby. Touche. I'll just say that if you do decide to switch to formula, buy the following items:
ReplyDelete1) two very small (I went with size xs) sports bras
2) ace bandage wraps
Wrap your boobs, then layer on the bras. It's going to hurt, and it's going to hurt bad, but the more tightly you wrap, the less you'll leak, and the quicker you'll dry up. I wore my sports bras 24/7, even in the shower. It wasn't pretty or fun but my non-porn boobs returned in under a week. Much to my husband's dismay.
All of the above. And Anne did haul her pump to Dave...I was there. Betsy has a good combo...you could even get your boobs mostly trained to produce milk just in the evenings/mornings (they will be ready to go when you get home from work!) and do formula during the day so you have the convenience you desire PLUS you still get to breast feed for as long as you BOTH enjoy it (like Anne said...that's the super important part).
ReplyDeleteHey...don't stress out about it Girl...go with 'the flow' oh, I'm so witty...
ReplyDeleteWhen we added formula to the mix (the twins were about 4 months)...I did the pumping...and believe it or not - I just started gradually producing less. Didn't have the pain that most women go through while trying to 'dry out'. It just happened on its own.
hey kels - i just got caught up on your blog. my advice to you if you stop breastfeeding is not to do it cold turkey! try to drop one feeding at a time (like the ones during work hours first) to give you body time to adjust...then it's not painful at all (but it does take a while to finally be completely done).
ReplyDeletehang in there - it's definitely a tough decision whenever you have to make it, so don't be so hard on yourself...i was a formula baby and look how great i turned out!! :)