3.18.2010

It's 5am

And I've been awake since 4am.

It's like I took a shot of Red Bull before I went to bed and that midnight to 4am stint was just a power nap to prepare me for the day.

Let's discuss why this sucks.

A) I love sleep. There's nothing worse than wanting to sleep but staring at the ceiling instead. I've done a good 30 rotations from back to stomach, side to side. Still nothing.
B) I don't have to work today. What a cruel joke. I heart sleeping in more than anyone and here I am, bright eyed and bushy tailed at 5am.
C) I'm so busy with fun things today, I don't even think I will have time for a nap. Well, this is really going to screw things up.

Let's discuss what I've learned on Good Morning America, super early edition.

A) You're not supposed to use Dog Flee & Tick medicine on cats. Thanks genius.
B) Girls are better than boys in the area of reading. Also, probably could have figured that out on my own.
C) The president picked Kansas to win the NCAA tournament. Glad you're hard at work on the tough issues.
D) I should really be sleeping.

So now, I'm channel surfing trying to find the most-likely-to-induce-sleep program. I'm banking on the local Prairie Public Service channel. I'm also trying to steer clear of infomercials, we don't need this early morning to end in sleep deprived misuse of the credit card too.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALICIA!

3.15.2010

Post Office

I went to the Post Office over lunch today. The PO is the last place on Earth I'd like to spend my lunch. I rarely go to the Post Office, it's completely unnecessary. As unnecessary as a trip to the bank. Direct deposit, online banking, ATMs, need I go on?

Anyways, I had to go to the PO and missed the one way entrance to get there. Naturally, I slowed down to turn into the one way the wrong direction. There was a car coming out the correct direction, so I politely waited. Yes I know I'm entering the wrong way, it's nice of me to at least wait for the person doing it correctly, right?

Well, the lady in her car waiting to turn on to the street was not impressed with my intentions to break the rules. She actually mouthed to me "you're going to get in trouble."

Really. I'm going to get in trouble? By whom might I ask? There aren't even enough employees to wait on the customers in line and you think someone is going to come and get me for entering the wrong direction. I don't think so.

And who says "you're going to get in trouble"? Honestly, a "hey dumb ass you're going the wrong way" or just a nasty look would have left a better impression.

3.12.2010

Bon Bons!

In high school, did your French Club ever raise money for some trip by selling the most amazing candy ever? Ours did. And thank you Fargo South circa 1997 for introducing me to the candy that trumps all candy.

Bon Bons.

No, not the chocolate covered whatever version. I’m talking about these little round pink pellets of delicious goodness available only once a year. 50 cents for a tiny little bag, SOLD.

Well, thankfully I have friends that are still in high school. Ok, they’re teachers this time ‘round, but they have access to said Bon Bons. And every March, I get a call from Grant or Erin telling me it’s Bon Bon time. And seriously, when I got the text from Grant this year, I almost drove off the road with excitement – how could I forget? March = My Birthday and Bon Bons!

Erin delivered a bag full of Bon Bons and I tried to keep myself from immediately tearing into them - I also wanted to hide them from Andy. I know, I act like I’m 5 sometimes but they’re just so delicious and in limited quantity so yes, I’m selfish – not a news flash to anyone. But, I fessed up the goods and shared…though I’m already devising a hiding spot for a few bags.

So, if anyone is wondering my whereabouts in the next few days, I will literally have my feet up, watching Chelsea, eating Bon Bons.

3.09.2010

The Trilogy is Complete!

Oh what a wonderful Tuesday - why you might ask?

It's Chelsea Handler's New Book Came Out Today day! No, I didn't sleep overnight in the Barnes and Noble parking lot, but I did race there over lunch. I almost knocked a grandma out of my way, but apparently she wasn't reaching for Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang. Odd.

If this newest book is anything like her previous two, I'm in for some serious enertainment. Of course I peeked and there are photos which is a total bonus!



*Note to all who enjoy a good Chelsea - Wednesday night before her regular show she is having an hour long mega interview show with Bradley Cooper and Demi Moore. It should be very entertaining!

3.07.2010

Weekend Rewind

Today. I tried to move my blog to Wordpress. I almost lost my shit. Not lost my blog, photos etc. kind of shit...but my mind. I thought I loved Wordpress, but I'm not so sure now. First of all, if you want to change your theme to something that is not theirs, you have to pay. WTF is that? I like my internet and everything about it to be free. I also couldn't figure out how to add my blogroll, probably user error, but at that point I'd had enough. So, I'll just keep my separate blog homes out of laziness. I did change the layout here, obviously, hope you likey.

Saturday night. I hung out with the fam and celebrated my cousin Amy's birthday. Duane's pizza, marble cake and ice cream. Mmm. Like I do at every family function, I painted my cousins' toenails - ages 5 and 25. The 5 year old, EmaRae guessed Amy's age at 56 and my age at 6. Ha!

Saturday morning. Another story that reinforces why everything that happens to Andy is just funnier. It is. It went something like this:

It's 9am and I'm being productive, the early bird catches the worm sleeping. Andy's phone rings. It's his mother. The bedroom door flies open.

A: Get up right now!
K: Um, why? What did your mom say?
A: We have to go to the store.
K: Ok, why?
A: My grandma has a yeast infection and we need to buy her medicine.
K: ::silence::
K: ::laughing::

I mean really, it's a pretty good story, made even funnier just by happening to Andy.

3.04.2010

Things I Like.

Here are a few things I really like right now. In no particular order:



Oranges. Damn a good orange is something spectacular. And using my new purple peeler, priceless.






Giuliana and Bill. The new season is coming to end in a couple weeks and I'm totally bummed. Just another show I love to DVR.





Andy. Yep, lame but I really do like him. I was destressing with a long bath the other night and Andy delivered cheese and crackers. Ok, I asked him to...but he still did it and didn't even complain. He's a keeper.









Sprite. I'm newly off the 'ffeine and Sprite is my only link to the soda world. Not as delicious as an ice cold Coca Cola Classic or Sunkist in a Can, but it does the trick. Best when paired with microwave popcorn or Juano's nachos.






Kara DioGuardi. I really like her on Idol. I think she has the most amazing skin I've ever seen. It seriously glows and she's 40 and that's a pretty rockin' bod for a 40 year old.

3.01.2010

Thanks for nothing Subway

Is there anything worse than driving all the way to Subway, waiting in line for forever and a day, getting your meal, heading back to work, and opening up your delicious sub only to find out they forgot the mayo!?

I mean really sandwich artists, is it that hard to do your job correctly?!

I gave you my order, I said mayo.

You repeated my order back to me, I heard mayo.

My receipt, it says mayo.

My sandwich – it has no mayo!

And who doesn’t have mayo on their sub?! Subway, your bread isn’t good enough to have dry. A girl could die trying to choke down your honey and oats.

And yes, there is some mayo in fridge at work that I can thieve, but it’s Flavorite. Who buys Flavorite brand mayo? I guess beggars can’t be superficial and the Flavorite mayo will have to suffice (don’t get me started on Miracle Whip right?!).