While I reminisce on the past twelve months I can't help but think about how surreal it feels being here.
Surreal: marked by the intense irrational reality of a dream; unbelievable, fantastic.
It feels like Emmie has been in our lives forever, in a good-most fantastic way. I know I had always told myself IVF would be just a distant memory with time, but I wasn't sure I believed what I was saying.
But it truly feels like IVF was a lifetime ago. I think back and the details are already fuzzy though I never thought I would forget a moment. The needles and appointments and ultrasounds have been replaced by giggles and coos and cheeks that I could just eat up.
I want to constantly cuddle and love her up and I have to hold myself back from squeezing too hard. From time to time I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror with Emmie in my arms and I stop for a moment. I still can't believe she is actually here and that I have a daughter and I get to love her forever. I feel so lucky.
I bought this bib years ago to send out positive thoughts to the Universe. I looked at it daily, sometimes tucked it under my pillow (like the tooth fairy might one day replace it with a baby or something?) and held it while I wished and hoped and prayed.
To say she was worth the wait is the understatement of a lifetime.
I love this. And the best news is, you'll have that feeling for a loooong time to come. A's 2 1/2 and I STILL squeeze him like that and kiss him on the head and tell him he's a dream come true (his sister, too!) I'll probably keep doing it until they're old enough to be all "MOM, STOP, YOU SUCK!" Anyway, just wanted to say I really felt this post and that I'm so happy for you.
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