Saltineverest

You know when you’re sick and you’re fetal positioning it in bed and your Everest is a saltine cracker?

You’re so sick, so hot, yet so cold, but you have to eat something and there…there just inches away on top of the comforter, is that saltine cracker staring you in the face. You give yourself a pep talk for about twenty minutes and work yourself up to get your arm out from under the covers to finally grab that saltine, it feels like a paperweight. It takes another few minutes to get the cracker to your mouth. And then you take a bite, you feel like you’re taking a bite out of a four inch tall big whopper, but in all reality you’ve only bitten off the teeniest tiniest corner. And then it crumbles all around you…but you’re in no shape to clean the crumbs out of bed, so there you lay surrounded by cracker crumbs because really, it’s not the worst thing you’ve got going for your hot mess of a self. And then the chewing begins. It’s painful. And it’s slow. And it feels like you’ve got a mouth full of sand because that’s how dry it is and you’re thinking to yourself my god, that Sprite on the night stand would be fantastic, why is the night stand so far away? And then finally, you swallow and it’s over. Victory. And you take about an hour nap to recover. During the nap, you dream about the sweet sweet taste of Sprite and when you wake, you start the process all over again.

Oh that’s just me?

Well, that’s was me on Wednesday.  The stomach flu hit and it hit hard. I’m recovering and still dreaming about Sprite.